I am a mom to two kids.
Sometimes it feels like there are 8 of them.
I have learned so much about what it means to be a strong woman, a strong mother, and I have often thought about the example that I set for my kids. Especially my daughter.
I have so many things that I want her to learn;
1. The value of independence. You don’t need a man to save you or anyone to take care of you, you learn by example that you are capable of living a full and happy life without having to share it with someone else. You learn that you can build a home, raise kids, cook, and do the dishes all while having a thriving career. You pretty much learn how to be super woman, but also that you can ask for help when you need it. Surround yourself with people who think you are amazing because you are.
2. The meaning of unconditional love. Oftentimes people confuse sacrifice with unconditional love, and of course you will sacrifice things in your own life for your kids, but I don't think it's right to do it to the point of suffering. I want my children to look for signs of someone bending under the strain so that they can empathize and help. My love is unconditional but my time and attention has conditions for sure. Conditions that we treat each other with respect, patience and kindness.
3. How to love yo' self. You learn how to walk away from the things that are not meant for you, you learn how to keep going even when the whole world is against you, and you learn how to believe in yourself when everyone is doubting you. You learn that bad grades, heart breaks and failures don’t define you; what defines you is how you bounce back from all the setbacks and how hard you fight for the life you want.
4. You can be both strong and soft. Strong mothers cry and get sad. All. The. Time. Its ok to show your kids that its normal to have these feelings and it's ok to be vulnerable. I cry when I'm sad, and I don't hide that from my kids. I don't want them to think that sharing their feelings with someone is a bad thing, sometimes its the only thing that helps.
5. It’s not easy being a woman. The world is amazing, beautiful and exciting. It can also be scary, harsh and hard. You will seek out the former and often get hit with the latter, that's life. You learn that your opinion will be discounted by some, and that others (rightly or wrongly) will place certain expectations on you, that you will be taken lightly when you’re being serious. You will also learn that you can stand out in a crowd and force everyone to listen to your voice and accept your ideas. You have a voice - use it.
6. Learn to rip off the rear-view mirror You learn to let all the “what ifs” and “could have beens” go. You learn not to look back and wonder why life turned upside down. You just keep looking forward and let the past redeem itself. You learn that everything that happened got you to where you are even if it is nothing you ever wished for. Love who you are now, not who the 7-year-old wished you would be.
8. Learn how to create your own happiness. You can find happiness in a difficult life. You can still be happy even if you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You decide what weight you give to things. You can find happiness in everything if you know where to look.
What are some things that you have learned about being a strong Mom?